1. Challenging yourself to see how many precarious balancing acts your dishes can take before catastrophe ensues. Personal favorites are the microwave-to-toaster bridge and bowl-and-spoon jenga.
2. Eating out. Eating out again. And again! No money left? It's OK! At least you don't have actual problems like soapy, wrinkled hands.
3. Taking on extra shifts at work so you can continue funding your ruthless campaign against at-home eating.
4. Embracing a policy of 'less is more'. You mean you want a fork AND a knife?? What is this, the Ritz?
5. Using the bottle of dish soap as a door stop. Or a hat rack.
6. Using the sponge as a frisbee.
7. Yelling at Chinese food delivery man for not including chopsticks in your order. How rude! [Him, not you.]
8. Eating out.
9. Spending an insane amount of time [preferably longer than it would take to do the dishes] googling images of clean kitchens, and living vicariously through them.
10. Printing off one of the google images really big and glueing it to the wall of your kitchen. Invite friends over and show off your kitchen remodel.
11. Finding new friends.