Thursday, June 2, 2011

Eleven Things You Quickly Learn As A Waitress for A Catering Company

1. A 'dumbwaiter' is not the same thing as a dumb waiter, although you'll encounter both frequently.

2. Buying the tighter, less comfortable pants for a job where you'll be running around all day, just because they made your butt look better, might have been a stupid idea.

3. Ditto on the little loafers.

4. Chefs are not your friends. EVER! Stop trying to befriend them.

5. Red wine spills are not a good look for fancy white tablecloths.

6. A glumped-together plate of left-over mashed potatoes, roast chicken and vegetarian lasagna after a long shift may be the best thing you'll ever see in your life.

7. Big, drunk kilted men going wild on the dancefloor is definitely a site to see.

8. Plates fresh from the oven are hot. So they make you wear gloves. Gloves make plates slippery.

9. Drunk people who get their smuggled hip flasks confiscated will not be pleasant with the staff.

10. Before taking 3 twelve-hour wedding shifts over 3 days, ask yourself if you really need the money badly enough to suffer through them.

11. Turns out you do! Onwards!

5 comments:

Megan said...

No, not the little loafers!!!! They failed you?????

Adrienne said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! I was a waitress for a year or two, so I feel your pain, but I just had to laugh. Thanks for sharing. :)

Corinnea said...

Very funny Jenny!! So well put and so very true.

I give you this short, gross tale as a warning.....A couple of years ago I did a twelve hour waitress job at a wedding. Wore some boots that had been comfortable but apparently were past there prime. By the end of the night my feet were so sore that it was more comfortable to walk across rocks in the rain than wear them any longer. A couple of months later both of my big toenails fell off. GET GOOD SHOES!

Kelly's Korner said...

Buahahahaha! OMGosh! Drunk guys in kilts and confiscated flasks had me rolling!!! You are so funny Jenny! Sorry for your pain, but I hope the pay was worth it.

Corinnea I totally forgot about your toenails!

Sorry guys I'm not laughing at your pain, but your senses of humor as you write about it. I promise!

Yash... said...

MORE! We want more "Eleven things..."

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